GEORGE W. BUSH
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
“other side.” That’s what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
“the other side.
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how I
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was a historical inevitability.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
It was because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
“Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there
was much rejoicing.
I missed one?