Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….


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Country Doctor !

Subject: Country Doctor !

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, ‘I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.’

The older doctor says, ‘Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?’

As they left, the younger man said, ‘You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?’

‘I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.’

‘Huh,’ the younger doctor said. ‘Pretty clever. I think I’ll try that at the next house.’

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, ‘I’m feeling terribly run down lately.’

‘You’ve probably been doing too much work for the Church,’ the younger doctor told her. ‘Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.’

As they left, the elder doctor said, ‘I know that woman well.. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?’

‘I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.’


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I know I was THERE

Comments made in the year 1955!

I’ll tell you one thing, if things
keep going the way they are,
it’s going to be impossible to
buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars
coming out next year? It won’t
be long before $2,000.00 will
only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in
price, I’m going to quit; 20 cents
a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is
thinking about charging 7 cents
just to mail a letter.

If they raise the minimum wage
to $1.00, nobody will be able to
hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who
would have thought gas would
someday cost 25 cents a gallon.
Guess we’d be better off leaving
the car in the garage.

I’m afraid to send my kids to the
movies any more. Ever since they
let Clark Gable get by with saying
DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND,
it seems every new movie has
either HELL or DAMN in it..

I read the other day where some
scientist thinks it’s possible to put
a man on the moon by the end of
the century. They even have some
fellows they call astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas .

However, they are recruiting boys from all over the country, because….

Texan boys refuse to accept that the moon is not in Texas

Did you see where some baseball
player just signed a contract for
$50,000 a year just to play ball?
It wouldn’t surprise me if someday
they’ll be making more than the
President.

I never thought I’d see the day
all our kitchen appliances would
be electric. They’re even making
electric typewriters now.

It’s too bad things are so tough
nowadays. I see where a few
married women are having to
work to make ends meet.

It won’t be long before young
couples are going to have to hire
someone to watch their kids so
they can both work.

I’m afraid the Volkswagen car
is going to open the door to a
whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won’t live to
see the day when the Government
takes half our income in taxes. I
sometimes wonder if we are
electing the best people to
government.

The fast food restaurant is
convenient for a quick meal,
but I seriously doubt they
will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short
trips anymore for a weekend. It
costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay
in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick
anymore. At $15.00 a day in
the hospital, it’s too rich for
my blood.

If they think I’ll pay 30 cents
for a haircut, forget it.

Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on!

Be sure and send it to your kids and grandkids, too!


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Marriage or Relationship

Marriage or Relationship

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it’s not quite as good as his mother’s

then adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour,
for as long and wherever you want …

then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

..then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to
warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

..then adopt a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ..

..then adopt a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

..then adopt a cat!

You thought I was gonna say… marry a man, didn’t you?
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them!

You…

….have a GREAT Day!!!


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“Thanks for your time.”

A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.


Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said..

"Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,", she said

"He’s the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown.

Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….Jack stopped suddenly…

"What’s wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope.

Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.
Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time" – Harold Belser

" The thing he valued most was…my time" Jack thought as he held the watch for a few minutes. He then called his office clearing his appointments for the next two days.

"Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"


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Happy Thanksgiving

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING


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Christmas is Coming

As our Christmas Season of giving approaches, please keep these facts in mind:

*The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses.

*The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits.

*UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE . Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause.

Some good options for your consideration:

*The Salvation Army’s Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a small salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2

billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.

*The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and

youth!

* The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary . Your donations go to help Veterans and their families

and youth!

*

The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary . Your donations go to help Veterans and their families

and youth!

*The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary . Your donations go to help Veterans and their

families and youth!

*The Vietnam Veterans Association National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary . Your donations go to help Veterans and their families

and youth!

Please share this with everyone you can.


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Interesting old photos.

LOGGERS

When the Northwest logging industry was still young…

Just look at the length of the hand saw they needed…

…and look at the size of the heavy duty axes…

The work required very strong and courageous men…

After a tree was felled the real work began – a week or more to cut it up…

Maneuvering the logs down the mountain to the train was a complex job…

Some of the logs were larger than the train engine…

A hollowed out log became the company’s mobile office…

Hollowed out logs were also used to house and feed the crews…