I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road! ~~~~~
Answering machine message, “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” ~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. ~~~~~
The irony of life is that,by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere. ~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: “With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?” ~~~~~
Sal and Vinnie entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the candy, Vinnie stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store
Vinnie said to Sal “I’m the best thief in the neighborhood, I stole 3 freakin chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You can’t beat that.”
Sal replied: “You want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real stealing. I’ll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won’t even know.”
So they went to the counter and Sal said to the shopkeeper:
“Do you want to see a great magic trick?” The shopkeeper replied: “Yes.”
Sal said: “Give me three chocolate bars.” The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Sal ate all three.
The shopkeeper asked: “But, where’s the magic?”
Sal replied: “Look in Vinnie’s pocket.”
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.”
Just click on where you think the city is and the plane will land there, then it will show where the city actually is!
This is a lot of fun and informative too. http://www.lufthansa-vp.com/vp1/play.html
Updated by Snopes Sat. May 26, 2013
LINK AT BOTTOM OF ARTICLE
Only in America… duh!!!!!!
All In The Family
The US has entered into a contract with a real estate firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided it no longer needs these buildings, many of which are located on prime land in towns and cities across the country.
The sale of these properties will fetch billions of dollars and a handsome 6% commission to the company handling the sales. That company belongs to a man named Richard Blum. Who is Richard Blum you ask?
Why the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein, that’s who. What a bunch of crooks we have running this country!
Senator Feinstein and her husband, Richard Blum, stand to make a fortune. His firm, C.R. I., is the sole real estate company offering these properties for sale. Of course, C.R.I. will be making a 6% commission on the sale of each and every one of these postal properties.
All of these properties that are being sold are all fully paid for. They were purchased with U.S. taxpayers dollars, and they are allowed free and clear by the U.S.P.S. The only cost to keep them is the cost to actually keep the doors open and the heat and lights on. The United States Postal Service doesn’t even have to pay property taxes on these subject properties. Would you sell your house just because you couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill?
Well, the Post Office is.
How does a powerful U.S. Senator from San Francisco manage to get away with such a sweet deal?
A powerful United States Senator’s husband is standing by, all ready to make millions from a U.S. taxpayer funded enterprise.
No one in the mainstream media is even raising an eyebrow over his 6% commission on the sale of hundreds of millions of dollar’s worth of quasi-public assets.
Pass this info on before it’s pulled from the internet.
snopes.com: CBRE/Richard Blum and USPS •••
Does the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein chair a company that brokers sales of USPS facilities?
…Claim: The husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein chairs a company that brokers sales of USPS facilities. Example: [Collected via e-mail, April 2013]…
…one firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided that it no longer needs these buildings (many of which…
…The sale of these properties will bring in billions of dollars and, with that, millions of dollars in commissions for the one Company that is in charge…
Sat, 25 May 2013 11:30:39 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/blum.asp
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE BLESSED