Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….


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Space Station….Unreal

This is a most interesting practical tour

WOW AND WOW – I had no idea what the Space Station looks like. Now I do.

Click here: Departing Space Station Commander Provides Tour of Orbital Laboratory – YouTube

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Hmmm

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road! ~~~~~
Answering machine message, “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” ~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. ~~~~~
The irony of life is that,by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere. ~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: “With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?” ~~~~~


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Vinny

Sal and Vinnie entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the candy, Vinnie stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store

Vinnie said to Sal “I’m the best thief in the neighborhood, I stole 3 freakin chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You can’t beat that.”

Sal replied: “You want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real stealing. I’ll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won’t even know.”

So they went to the counter and Sal said to the shopkeeper:
“Do you want to see a great magic trick?” The shopkeeper replied: “Yes.”

Sal said: “Give me three chocolate bars.” The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Sal ate all three.

The shopkeeper asked: “But, where’s the magic?”

Sal replied: “Look in Vinnie’s pocket.”

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.”


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Food for thought

God’s Accuracy ………The Facts

This is awesome! How Great is our God!!!
Our Creator and Redeemer . . . and do we THINK about it??? God’s
accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs. . . . .

For example:
-the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days;
-those of the canary in 14 days;
-those of the barnyard hen in 21 days;
-The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days;
-those of the mallard in 35 days;
-The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days. (Notice, they are all
divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

God’s wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend
forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that
this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this
reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first. A
cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first. How wise the Lord
is in all His works of creation!

God’s wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number
of grains.

-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.
-Each orange has an even number of segments.
-Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.
-Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.
-Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of
bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and
the next row an odd number.

-The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.

-All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks, and the Lord specified thirty fold, sixty fold,
and a hundred fold all even numbers.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great
botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of
soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by
the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

The lives of each of you may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if
you will only entrust Him with your life. If you try to regulate your own
life, it will only be a mess and a failure.

Only the One Who made the brain and the heart can successfully guide them
to a profitable end.

I HOPE YOU FIND THIS AS FASCINATING AS I DID. May God
Bless You In Ways You Never Even Dreamed. I didn’t think twice about
forwarding this one.

The Bible

When you carry "the Bible", Satan has
a headache, when you open it, he collapses, when he sees you reading it, he
loses his strength, AND when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can’t hurt
you! And did you also know… When you are about to forward this email to
others, the devil will probably try to discourage you, but do it anyway.

"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil – it has no point.

Amen!!!!


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POST OFFICE BUILD FOR SALE

Updated by Snopes Sat. May 26, 2013

LINK AT BOTTOM OF ARTICLE

Only in America… duh!!!!!!

All In The Family

The US has entered into a contract with a real estate firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided it no longer needs these buildings, many of which are located on prime land in towns and cities across the country.

The sale of these properties will fetch billions of dollars and a handsome 6% commission to the company handling the sales. That company belongs to a man named Richard Blum. Who is Richard Blum you ask?

Why the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein, that’s who. What a bunch of crooks we have running this country!

Senator Feinstein and her husband, Richard Blum, stand to make a fortune. His firm, C.R. I., is the sole real estate company offering these properties for sale. Of course, C.R.I. will be making a 6% commission on the sale of each and every one of these postal properties.

All of these properties that are being sold are all fully paid for. They were purchased with U.S. taxpayers dollars, and they are allowed free and clear by the U.S.P.S. The only cost to keep them is the cost to actually keep the doors open and the heat and lights on. The United States Postal Service doesn’t even have to pay property taxes on these subject properties. Would you sell your house just because you couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill?

Well, the Post Office is.

How does a powerful U.S. Senator from San Francisco manage to get away with such a sweet deal?

A powerful United States Senator’s husband is standing by, all ready to make millions from a U.S. taxpayer funded enterprise.

No one in the mainstream media is even raising an eyebrow over his 6% commission on the sale of hundreds of millions of dollar’s worth of quasi-public assets.

Pass this info on before it’s pulled from the internet.

snopes.com: CBRE/Richard Blum and USPS •••

Does the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein chair a company that brokers sales of USPS facilities?

…Claim: The husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein chairs a company that brokers sales of USPS facilities. Example: [Collected via e-mail, April 2013]…

…one firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided that it no longer needs these buildings (many of which…

…The sale of these properties will bring in billions of dollars and, with that, millions of dollars in commissions for the one Company that is in charge…

Sat, 25 May 2013 11:30:39 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/blum.asp


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I have questions

Hello — I have questions!

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G ?

MAY YOU ALWAYS BE BLESSED