Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….


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Biting the bullet

Biting the bullet – cutting expenses. I HOPE YOU WILL PARTICIPATE AND DO YOUR PART.

The President ordered the cabinet to cut $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget.

I’m so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing with my personal budget. I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household expenses, medicine, utilities, etc, but it’s time to get out the budget cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.

I’m going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio, 1/35,000 of my total budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2000 a month; I’m going to have to cut that number by six cents. Yes, I’m going to have to get by with $1999.94, but that’s what sacrifice is all about. I’ll just have to do without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries.

(Did the president actually think no one would do the math?)

John Q. Taxpayer

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Fox Hunting

I felt a real need to forward this to you and ask you to do the same….

Please don’t misread my intentions…. I am in NO way in agreement with any type of gun control, but after seeing this…. I am, unfortunately, in agreement that something needs to change…

If you agree with this, please send to the powers that be.. Hope we can stop it.

While I agree that hunting is an ethical God-given right, I think that we would have to agree on this…

Fox hunting in MONTANA should be banned!

Please help ban fox hunting in Montana

THIS MADNESS MUST STOP!!

Signed,

Peter Cottontail

Bugs Bunny
The Easter Bunny
Thumper


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The truth

You know by today’s standards none of us was suppose to ever make it.

HIGH SCHOOL — 1957 vs. 2010

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2010 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2010 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2010 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school..
1957 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock
2010 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2010 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum.
Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed. 1957 – Ants die.
2010 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2010 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!


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Happy St. Paddy’s Day to You!!!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day to You!!!


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Shoplifter takes nasty fall

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket… When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back, the injury did not appear to be severe.

After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.

The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw… injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine!

"Pride Runs Deep"
Fear God, Dread Naught.

Important Health Message.

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” Aspire to Inspire before you Expire “

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A turtle doesn’t run, does nothing .. yet lives for 450 years.FORGET EXERCISE!


Sleep Well, Eat Well, Laugh Much!

   
   

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Proud to be a Texan

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After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York
scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100
years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors
already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that
followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20
feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read:
“California archaeologists, finding 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years
earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, a local newspaper in Texas reported the
following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in a pasture
between Fort Worth and Weatherford, Texas Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless.”

Just makes you proud to be a Texan doesn’t it?

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