Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

Nine Words Little Words

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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A

loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That’s Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8)Whatever:Is a woman’s way of saying The h— with YOU!

(9)Don’t worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s w ron g?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they canavoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true!!!


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A Father & Daughter Discussion

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A Father & Daughter Discussion

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very Liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much

in Favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other Words; redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the Lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to Higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to Be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by Asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that She was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people She knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends, because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked , ‘How is your friend Audrey doing?’ She replied, ‘ Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She Is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.’

Her wise father asked his daughter, ‘Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.’ The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, ‘That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!’

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, ‘Welcome to The Republican party.’

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Republican and Democrat I’m all ears.

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat..

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for

everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Well, I forwarded it to you.

“I must go to work. There are people on welfare counting on me”!

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Icebergs in Lake Michigan

Icebergs in Lake Michigan sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions. Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with melt water and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. When an iceberg falls into the lake, a layer of water can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe. Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the lake.

Frozen Wave Pixs – Nature is amazing!

The water froze the instant the wave broke through the ice. That’s what it is like in Lake Michigan where it is the coldest weather in decades. Water freezes the instant it comes in contact with the air. The temperature of the water is already some degrees below freezing. Just look at how the wave froze in mid-air!!!

Stimulus money……

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It is a slow day in the small Colorado town of Pumphandle and streets
are deserted.Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on
credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and
lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms
upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs
next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt
to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his
supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the
local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to
offer her “services” on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel
owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the
traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down
the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the
$100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything.

No one earned anything…

However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future
with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a “stimulus package” works.

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Brazilian

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The Department of Defense briefed the president this morning. They told President Obama that two Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone’s surprise, all the color drained from Obama’s face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally, he composed himself and asked, “Just how many is a Brazilian?”
This is not surprising, since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion, either.

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Aggressive & Hostile

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A police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes strides toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the ‘violator’ for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, "That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole!"

Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record and he is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks ; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.”

"Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole?"

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”

How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?

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Mt. Rainer & Mt. St. Helens

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This is extremely interesting, and the pictures are amazing!!

Those NOT living in Tacoma, Washingtonor the surrounding areas can still appreciate these pictures.
This occurred on Friday, 4-09-10.
It was so amazing people were pulling over on the freeway to take pictures
MT.Rainier puts on a show!

by Scott Sistek

Our little drought was about to come to an end.

But if you looked at MT. Rainier that day, you would have known that.
Take a look at some of these incredible clouds captured over Mt. Rainier that day.

Those are called "lenticular clouds" They’re caused when the air flow is just right so

when it flows over Mt. Rainier, the air gets pushed upward where it cools and condenses

into clouds.

Depending on how smooth the flow is, you can get some amazing clouds

formations as we’ve seen so far to day. It’s usually a sign of rain within 24 hours because

typically the moist flow that precedes a storm around here is the perfect set-up for these clouds.

View from GigHarbor

And one over Mount St. Helen’s is truly breathtaking:

Pretty amazing, huh!?!

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