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Few Private Sector Jobs For Iraqi Strongman’s Doppelgangers

Of the many people who will be affected by a regime change in Iraq, perhaps none face a more uncertain fate than the look-alikes of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

The look-alikes, believed to be number as many as ten thousand, face dim employment prospects in a post-Saddam Iraq, where opportunities for Hussein doppelgangers are expected to be marginal at best.

“We’re looking at a tough, tough road ahead,” said Saddam Look-alike #9837, who attended the annual meeting of the Association of Saddam Look-alikes at the Baghdad Hilton over the weekend.

“Everybody thinks that when you get plastic surgery to look like Saddam Hussein, life’s a bowl of cherries,” #9837 said. “All I can say is, ‘as if!’”

The meeting of the look-alikes, which featured booths offering information about job retraining and computer skills, drew record numbers of look-alikes this year, forcing police to turn hoses on an overflow crowd of Saddams who tried to crash the gate.

While there is some optimism in Iraq that a regime change could bring Western businesses like McDonalds and Starbucks to Baghdad, the look-alikes fear that they will not make it past a first interview at such establishments.

“If you ordered a tall decaf mocha latte, would you really want it served to you by someone who looks like Saddam Hussein?” #9837 said. “I’ll be lucky to get a job in the stock room at Foot Locker.”

Their futures uncertain, many of the look-alikes are now questioning their decision to become Saddam look-alikes in the first place.

“When I went for the plastic surgery, I really didn’t think it through,” #9837 said. “I just thought it would help me get girls.”


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