You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato
had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a
little sweet potato, whom they called “Yam.”
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they
told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out
and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed,
and get a bad name for herself like “Hot Potato,” and end up with
a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get
her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her. But on the
other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato,
either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny
like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to
watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy
guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out
west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t
associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from
the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all
the trucks that say, “Frito Lay.”
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P. U. (that’s Potato
University) so that when she graduated she’d really be in the
Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came
home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn’t
possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he’s just a…
Are you ready for this?