To those of who aren’t from Oklahoma, this might give you a little bit of insight into where I come from.
Things I Have Learned About Oklahoma:
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Oklahoma.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, couple no one’s seen before.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
The wind blows at 90 mph from October 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until October 2.
Onced and twiced are words.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country, you don’t have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it’s time to go to the doctor.
Fix-in-to is one word.
A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation, watterin’ the cows, or swimming.
There ain’t no such thing as “lunch”. There’s only dinner and then there’s supper.
Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
‘Jeet?’ is actually a phrase meaning, “Did you eat?”
You don’t have to wear a watch because it doesn’t matter what time it is.
You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
You know you’re from Oklahoma if:
You measure distance in minutes.
You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.(Note: in the portion above “fix-in-to” is one mouth.
There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as “goin Wal-Martin” or, off to “Wally World.”
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or Coke…it’s a pop.
You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Oklahoma.