No peer pressure
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman.
“And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?”
the reporter asked.
“No peer pressure” she responded.
Baseball in the Bible?
It all started “In the Big Inning.”
Eve stole first. Adam stole second.
Abraham made a sacrifice.
Jacob struck out.
The prodigal son made a home run.
Everybody played baseball until the fall of the Roam Umpire.
Two lawyers take a break fom chasing ambulaces and go into
a cafe, order soft drinks, and open up their sack lunches.
“Hey,” shouts the proprietor.
“You can’t eat your own food in here!”
“Okay,” says one,
and he and his friend swap their sandwiches.
I keep trying to get a joke published. Your measurement
arithmetic reminded me of one and I’ve included some others.
You probably already used these, also, but I’ll run’em past
you anyway. –Jody
Three Indian women were pregnant and the time of their
deliveries was drawing near. They all entered the maternity
The maternity tepee was equipped with two deer hides and a
hippopotamus skin — a bed for each of the women.
Finally the babes were delivered. Two of the babes weighed 6
pounds each and the thirds weighed 12 pounds.
This goes to show that
“The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the
squaws of the other 2 hides.”
What is a pun?
Also called paronomasia, a pun is a humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest different meanings or applications, or a play on word. A few examples follow;
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter “Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite.”
Cabbage should be eaten raw in fact that’s Cole’s Law.
A will is a relative thing.
In a Scandinavian race the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.
Some children think that their parents are all no-ing.
When he fell in the wet concrete he left a bad impression.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
A ham walked out of the hospital and said “I’m cured.”
A pun can be made on any subject except a king who isn’t a subject.
The conductor who didn’t pay his orchestra had to face the music.
A long knife has been invented that cuts four loaves of bread at a time called a four loaf cleaver.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.