Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

Assorted Humor

Leave a comment

Jogging Time

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his
destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park
somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of
the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to
snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw
a jogger running in place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”

The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15”.

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was
just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another
jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers
passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one
disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put
a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there
was another knock on the window.

“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!.”

==========

Babysitting

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town
shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.

“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t
catch a thing!”

“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,”
his mother said.

The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait.”

==========

Pre-Flight Announcement

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement
from an American Airlines pilot: “On our flight today, we
will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how
high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire State
buildings stacked one on top the other.

“Our speed will be about 500 miles per hour. That is just
over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45
pistol.”

“We will be pushed along by two Pratt and Whitney
JT-8D-200 turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower
varies with altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is
greater than the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel
locomotives.”

“In other words, we’re faster than a speeding bullet, more
powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall
buildings in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas
based crew stands for truth, justice, and the AMERICAN
way!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s