Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

Ponderings by: George Carlin

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Ponderings by: George Carlin
> 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
> 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
> 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
> 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
> 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
> 6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
> 7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
> 8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
> 9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we’re already there?
> 10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
> 11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
> 12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
> 13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
> 14. Why do “overlook” &”oversee” mean opposite things?
> 15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
> 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
> 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
> 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
> 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
> 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
> 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
> know the batteries are dead?
> 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
> 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
> 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
> 25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
> 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

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