Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

Church Ladies with Typewriters

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These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way fromAfrica.

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER &FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”

3. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

6. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

7. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

8. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

9. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

11. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth into Joy.”

12. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

14. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

15. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. – prayer and medication to follow.

16. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

17. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

18. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use back door.

19. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

20. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.Please use large double door at the side entrance.

21. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

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