Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

Some of the things my Parents taught me …

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Some of the things my Parents taught me … Does any of this have a have a familiar ring?

1.My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE…

"If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!"

2.
My Parents taught me RELIGION…

"You better pray that stain will come out of my new carpet."

3.
My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL…

"If you don’t straighten up and fly right, I’m gonna knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.
My Parents taught me LOGIC…

"Why? Because I said so, that’s why!"

5.
My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC…

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me."

6.
My Parents taught me FORESIGHT…

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, just in case you’re in an accident."

7.
My Parents taught me IRONY…

"If you keep crying, I’ll give you something to cry about."

8.
My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS…

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

9.
My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM…

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.
My Parents taught me about STAMINA…

"You’ll sit there until all that spinach disappears!"

11.
My Parents taught me about the WEATHER…

"This room of yours looks like tornado went through it."

12.
My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY…

"If I told ya once, I’ve told you a million times – don’t exaggerate!"

13.
My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE…

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!"

14.
My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION…

"Stop acting like your father!"

15.
My Parents taught me about ENVY…

"There are millions of less fortunate children in the world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do."

16.
My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION…
"Just wait until your Father and I get home!"

17.
My Parents taught me about RECEIVING…

"You are going to get it when we get you home!"

18.
My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…

"If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19.
My Parents taught me ESP…

"Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?"

20.
My Parents taught me HUMOR…

"When that lawn mower cuts off all your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT…

"If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up."

22.
My Parents taught me GENETICS.

"You’re just like your Father!"

23.
My Parents taught me about my ROOTS…
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.
My Parents taught me WISDOM…
"When you get to be my age, you’ll understand."

And my personal favorite:

25.
My Parents taught me about JUSTICE…
"One day you’ll have kids of your own, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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