Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….


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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I’ll squeeze those dangly things here, and drink
whatever the hell comes out!"
Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut…why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where
the bathroom is?
=! =
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you try singing the two songs above?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?


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