Gee Mail

All that stuff that the grandparents forward….

(c)Bits frm Bob – Enjoy the funnies…

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An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

“Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did my son, and you have no need to confess that.”

“There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours.This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.”

The priest said, “That was a long time ago, and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.” “And what is that?” asked the priest. “Should I tell her the war is over?”

WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THE NEW YEAR

TEN THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky, not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

– – – and as someone recently said to me:

“Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last long.”

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One thought on “(c)Bits frm Bob – Enjoy the funnies…

  1. Thanks for some of the best stuff I’ve seen related to,.. uh… youth-challenged persons.

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